The second poem I want to read you was during a very intense day. If you notice the date, yes... 9/11. It kind of doesn't really fit in anything I'm planning to do, so here it is on its own.
I thought I'd read you some stuff from various things I published in 2000 and 2001 that really seemed to speak to me lately. Hope you like it.
And if you REALLY like them, let me know. I'm thinking about re-printing them if people would be interested again.
]]>I have converted my book I did from 2001, Stereo Sound Surrounds Me into its own website. All the original content is there and I even read it to you! Back then I heard a lot good things about so I'm guessing its pretty good... You should check it out.
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I would like to read for you a couple poems I wrote before 2003 that have been sticking in my head. Both would end up being put in some collections I completed back then. Did you know that I do artwork in multiple media? - write, draw, create, print, speak, perform and produce. If not, its Shirley because we met in 2003 or later. I really wasn't sharing my artwork too much publicly since about that time, so just about every new friend I made since that time probably had no idea I did artwork. A stark contrast from everyone who knew me before 2003 as the guy that does the artwork, books and zines. The passion in my life since 2003 up to last year or so has been cloudy compared to my life prior to that.
I feel I've recently re-discovered the passion that gives me my fireball ferocity. For example - Beyond Nice was actually written out in 2003 but I didn't have the heart to release it back then. When I release something, I'm letting go of it and I have to be strong emotionally to do so, if I'm being honest with myself. Sixish years in the making - the book went thru several title changes and the set list was edited, axed, and updated even more times than that. So finally in June I spent some time to finally wrap it up.
The things that have changed for me is my attitude. I really have been trying with the intent to work on my personal self, my spirit, my heart. As a seemingly direct result I have been much more productive with the renewed mindset. Although my attitude doesn't by itself bring results - it won't take out the garbage - it helps to re-light the fire in my passion to get everything I need done. The passion in my life has been generally absent from my life since 2003. I speak casually but its kind of a big deal for me to state that in words. How my mindset does bring about results I feel is my genuine sincerity and consideration kind of attracts the energy I need to get things done - even if the energy isn't from me.
I tend to have a dynamic view of fate. Faith itself is not enough to get the outcome, rather I feel I create my own results by putting myself out there. (physically that is) "If I'm always sincere then I have nothing to fear". I wrote that. If I naturally think about and help people with their true desires WITHOUT personal intention (so important), then I notice they typically return in same. To appreciate people sincerely means I have to care about and understand them. If I don't genuinely think about people when I give a compliment, then its just self-serving disposable flattery like a waitress for tips. If I reach out to the world, the world tends to reach back.
To care strongly about people is POWERFUL. But its not being naiive and innocent... necessarily. When you care about someone or something, it does make you vulnerable because you are putting yourself out there, which I understand is why many people are so closed off - like I was for the past six years. Someone or something you TRULY care about has the power to really hurt you - moreso than if you had your defenses up. And the crucifying pain of that hurt can be too much to bear. But a cynical life is like death to me.
My release valve had been my artwork. Its the best friend I never had. When I shut myself off from doing artwork and writing, it ultimately holds all my pain inside. My artwork is basically my true love. Its where I can release my craziness, my sorrows, my grief, my depression, my love, my anger, my wishes.
First is from A Flower Unfolds... released in I think 2002?
Second is from "Close the door on your way out." completed in 2002 but unreleased.
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I am such a very passionate person, by my passions are diversified - to use an investor term. Things seems to be really good for me though and the words have been flowing out of me very well lately.
If interested, PLEASE do contact me. brian.moy@gmail.com I would give you full credit to all shots where they appear and you are welcome to take any extra shots of me to add to your portfolio. I'm very professional and very photographable.
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As things begin to appear going well, a part of myself has to just naturally prepare myself if things turn out badly - I guess its like a "let down valve". Not sure if that's a good thing or not, but its what happens to me when things seem to be going too well or too easily.
So I guess I'm in the need of something to really get my blood flowing, to re-fuel my soul, to energize my hopes. I've been reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by the Dale Carnegie. I feel like it was the unwritten blueprint of my life in my early 20's as I did a lot of the techniques mentioned (especially in the first portion of my book) to make connections and friends, and it all worked very well. Amazing to think, however, that I did all those things because it was natural for my personality and not because I learned about it or read about it. Now that I'm a tad older, I'm for some reason a bit shy to do some of those same things... Afraid to look/be innocent/cute/vulnerable? Yeah.
I'm really in the mood to see a good motivating movie, like Rocky or something along those lines.
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